It’s Time
The tears I shed
alone in bed
things unsaid
in my head
dripping down
as I frown
bite back the gasp
of time
past
a memoir
a Renoir
a masterpiece
and you’re going
the tears continue flowing
the furrow
the sorrow
of the lonely tomorrow . . .
The tears I shed
alone in bed
things unsaid
in my head
dripping down
as I frown
bite back the gasp
of time
past
a memoir
a Renoir
a masterpiece
and you’re going
the tears continue flowing
the furrow
the sorrow
of the lonely tomorrow . . .
There’s a knot in
My stomach that won’t come undone
It’s years and years of holding in
The sum of not saying
no!
Saying I’m alright
avoiding a fight
of seeming small
afraid to be tall
not speaking up
mouth taped shut.
Fear
growing year by year
The knot’s still there
as I wash my hair
put on my face
for the rat race.
The knot, the knot
won’t come undone,
in my stomach
in my tum.
Please someone help
bring reprieve,
this feeling
this feeling
just won’t leave.
Every poem, song, story, and performance on this website is part of an unfolding journey of artistic discovery. I invite you to explore further, listen deeply, and follow the many paths that continue to emerge through I am Maria!
I’m a supernova
revving up to move ya.
Done my time,
paid the fine,
I’m a supernova!
Don’t tell me that it’s over,
your narrow mind,
shut up and blind,
I’m a supernova,
Look up,
I’m there, in the sky. . .
you can’t deny that
I’m a supernova!
You’re warmly invited to listen to Supernova and explore more music, poetry, and creative reflections from the evolving journey of I am Maria! here on the blog.
She released the pin of sin from her hair.
Black flames licked her bare
shoulders.
She trembled In anticipation,
all her life waited for this revelation,
the bell was rung,
the song was sung,
sweat pricked her lips,
it stung and yet,
it tasted sweet just,
like a chocolate treat,
on the tip,
of her tongue,
sizzling . . .
melting. . .
like butter in the sun. . .
The poem “Awake” inspired this electronica piece, please accept a warm invitatoin to listen to it and also explore more of my practice based research project within the transformatory world of I am Maria! now in Bloom.
Love is a bird,
she’s singing her song,
they said out of key,
but boy they was wrong,
their minds so nasty.
She’s singing her song,
she doesn’t care,
love is a bird,
free in the
air. . .
This creative work emerges from practice-based autoethonographic research where the performative work, I am Maria! functions as a site of investigation and transformation. A source which ignites creativity and self expression. A wamr invitation to explore more of my work here in my creative world.
He said, “you always were my little angel,”
in another time in another place,
when I had another face,
his little girl before.
The illness took his mind. He couldn’t find
the essence of who he was.
I tried and tried to see ,
if he recognised me,
everytime I went,
the illness didn’t relent,
It was sad,
I wanted my Dad,
but there was nothing we could do,
he was hidden within the maze of the brain and he would never be the same.
As time goes on and age sits in,
I always think back to that day when,
his eyes dim, looked at me to say,
“You were always my little angel.”
These poetic works emerge alongside the research, functioning as immediate expressions of voice, identity, and transformation.
I look in the mirror and what do I see, a woman? A girl?
Waiting to be free….of all that they told her she had to be…
Of the connotatations,
the assumptions, the bringing down,
of her pretending to be the clown,
not feeling enough,
not being tough,
not moving forward,
but staying stuck,
in the muck of the past
unknowingly…contributing tomaking it last,
I look in the mirror and all I can seeis a woman a girl,
waiting to go free!
This video marks a new beginning for a poem originally written for I am Maria!. It now emerges as a moment of transformation and transfiguration of voice and artistic self, unfolding within a new paradigm.
This work is not a standalone piece, but an evolving fragment that will form part of the live immersive performance I am Maria: Bloom.
Visual material by Valeria Pazos (PhD candidate, Mexico), whose imagery forms part of this evolving collaboration.
See more of Valeria’s work @valeria_pazosf
See more of my sonic experiments